Why You Should Love Yourself Before You Love Someone Else

Why You Should Love Yourself Before You Love Someone Else. Your self worth is everything, and affects your relationships.

Loving yourself might sound like a cliché, but it’s one of the most powerful things you can do—not just for yourself, but for your future relationships too.

When you don’t know your worth, you can end up settling for people who don’t see it either. But when you start to truly understand and appreciate who you are, everything shifts—including who you allow into your life.

The Energy You Carry Shapes Who You Attract

Have you ever noticed that when you’re feeling low, you sometimes attract people who echo that energy—those who take more than they give, or who validate your self-doubt rather than lift you up?

That’s not a coincidence.

According to attachment theory, people with low self-esteem are more likely to form anxious or avoidant bonds—relationships that feel intense, but often lack stability or respect. These patterns can create a cycle where you’re constantly seeking approval, yet never truly fulfilled.

"You accept the love you think you deserve."
– Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

If you don’t feel worthy of kindness, respect, and care, it’s all too easy to overlook red flags or ignore your own needs.

Loving the Wrong Person Can Delay Your Own Growth

When you’re in a relationship that doesn’t align with who you are—or who you’re trying to become—it can pull you away from your path. Time, energy, and emotional bandwidth get poured into managing the relationship instead of nurturing yourself.

Sometimes, we chase connection out of fear of being alone. But the truth is, being in the wrong relationship can feel lonelier than being single. And while you’re tending to someone else’s needs, your own self-understanding and healing can be left on pause.

"Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness."
– Mandy Hale

Loving yourself means protecting your peace, your potential, and your purpose. It means saying no to what doesn’t serve you, even if that’s scary at first.

Self-Love Isn’t Selfish—It’s Foundational

Loving yourself doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. It means being willing to know yourself, care for yourself, and grow with compassion. It’s the foundation of every healthy relationship—because when you love yourself, you stop looking for someone else to complete you.

You stop needing love to prove your worth, and start wanting love that reflects it.

Where Do You Start?

Self-love isn’t a destination—it’s a practice. Some gentle places to begin:

Spend time alone, doing things that light you up
Explore your emotions through journaling or creative expression
Set boundaries and honour them
Speak to yourself the way you would to someone you care about
Invest in your own healing, learning, and joy

Come Home to You First

The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for everything else. And when you truly love and value who you are, you naturally attract people who do too.

So take your time. Grow your roots. Tend to your heart.

Love will find you—but let it find you whole.

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This post is a collaborative effort between AI and myself in order to provide the most up to date information.